I liked living in a bubble & I want it back!!!
Yes, I am having a pity party so bear with me. My bubble was a house on 20 acres with no one with in yelling distance and up until a little over a year ago that is where my family had lived for the past 8 years. The Lord moved us back into town. We thought we had found this really great house. It had more room, smaller monthly payments, quiet neighborhood, park near by. Too good to be true!! Yeap!
We went from country life to city life. We went from dh & I having more control over who my kids hung around with to kids of all kinds hanging out if front of our house ALL THE TIME! Now, it is summer break so they are not in school. The language some of these kids use is amazing! I didn’t even know what some of these words meant when I was their age. Then I hear it coming from my boys mouth & I just totally lose it! These kids out here have no respect for adults or for each other. They throw their trash in my yard, cuss out each other & I just don’t like them. Our family is in the minority because my kids live with their mom & dad. About 90% of the families out here are either single parent families or blended. Maybe only 10% proclaim to be christian & those people are really stuck up. They are giving christians a bad name for sure!!
O’k, now I’m done. I feel much better now. The bottom line is I just get frustrated because I know God has placed us on this street for a reason. I get frustrated because I don’t even feel adequate enough to raise my own kids, much less the rest of the kids on our street. There are so many here that are looking for acceptance, stability & just flat out want to feel loved. On any given day I may have 15 kids in my house. Now, 10 of them are mine so 5 more don’t really matter. But, I really think that some of these kids hang out at our house because we accept them for who they are. We do have ground rules. No cussing & no fighting. And then the rules for the visiting kids are… I’m kidding, they aren’t supposed to cuss or fight either. If they have to then they just go outside. Several of the kids call my “mom”. They eat with us, play with us & I hope they know they are welcome here. Some of these kids I hate to tell them to go home at night because I know that they are sometimes walking into a very wild environment.
One boy walked into the kitchen the other night while I was cooking dinner. He asked what I was doing. When I told him I was cooking he asked if I did that every day. I said, “Well, yeah, pretty much. We do need to eat.” “Wow”, he said, “I don’t know if my mom knows how to cook. I don’t think she ever has.” Now, I know that this lady must know how to cook something, but she is never home to cook. Her husband is in jail & she works wild hours to keep a house for her boys to live in. The mom across the street called me “June Cleaver”. I guess because I cooked dinner for them when her daughter was rushed to ER for a horrible infection. Her kids eat at my house all the time. I don’t mind. She isn’t there. Her husband died a year ago & now she works at the 7-11 store to make the rent.
There are some stable familes out here somewhere. But they don’t “associate” with anyone else. I heard rumor that they don’t want to be around those kind of people. I guess she was talking about the couple up the street from me. He is a butcher & she is a Vet’s assistant. They have the cutest little boy. The man wears a mohawk, has tatoo’s on both legs & rings in his ears & nose. He always has a beer in his hand, but not the one he shakes your hand with. His wife is so sweet. I love talking with her. She is good at not using cuss words when me or my kids are around. So is her husband. She told me one time that she doesn’t know how I stay so sane with all these kids. I told her it was all about God. I couldn’t any of it with out him. Her response was amazing! “Yeah, I know about him. Someone told me about him once & it made a lot of sense. I pray sometimes, but I’ve screwed up so many times in my life I don’t think he hears me.” Wow!!! Talk about an open door to share Jesus. We talked a little more. She still has more questions & is unsure of some stuff, but we still talk. She and her husband are both recovering drug addicts. They are trying really hard to make a good life for themselves & their little boy. They really need Jesus & I am praying that my family can help them find him.
I’m so thankful that my kids are getting a HUGE look at how badly the world needs godly people who will love & accept the ungodly into their life. If I sat in my house not wanting to “associate” with those ungodly people I would miss out on so much! IT has made life really hard. It has really tested our parenting skills & I’m learning to pull my kids closer to me & spend so much more time in the word with them. We are learning to prepare ourselves for the battle that lies ahead of us outside our front door. (Eph. 6) We pray each night together that the Lord would protect our home & place angels all around it. I believe he does. I have learned to pray for these neighbors when I look out at see their house. The lesbian next door doesn’t talk to anyone, but I know her name so I say it when I pray for her. I have learned to look in their eyes when they talk to me, not at their tatoos or nose rings. I am learning to say “Hi” to people I probably would never have talked to a year ago.
As Christian homeschoolers it is very important to us that we instill in our children our morals & values. We understand that it isn’t all about curriculum & schedules, but about their relationship with God. It is about teaching them to seek his face & search for him as you would search for treasure. It is about understanding that Jesus died for everyone, even the jerk across the street that keeps throwing his coke cans in my yard, It is about learning to love him, pray for him & forgive him. It is about learning to live in this world, but not becoming part of it. Jesus did a lot of walking & talking to people. He didn’t tell them their tattoos were ugly or their smoking would kill them, he just talk to them and he loved them. “Lord, help me to be like you!”
Wow, I’m so glad we had this talk. I feel much better now! Thanks so much!